tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
