would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
