how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
