Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
No subtext here. People are naked.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
