Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
