I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize