there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
