My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
