get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Dear god my vagina.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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