I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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