She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize