I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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