I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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