I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
