i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
