I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
