shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
The feeling are messing with the penis
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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