I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
