There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
