i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
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