So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
