just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize