I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
