Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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