My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He shit in the fireplace
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
