He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Life without a bra equals bliss.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
