You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
