I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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