I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize