at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
