Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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