i would punch a child for taco bell
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
