i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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