Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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