there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize