I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
