Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
