mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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