Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
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