So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
