it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Randomize
