her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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