He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
