theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
