clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Dignity is for republicans.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
