That's when you crack a 10am beer
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
it was like eating out sand paper
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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