why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
