What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Randomize