Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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