I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Found your dick twin last night
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
