i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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