Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
