She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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