Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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