If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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