Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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