He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
