Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
