Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
