so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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