just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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