Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
