I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
