i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
