Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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