My first STD was from a foam party
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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