so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
