I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
