So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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