Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
