i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
