Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
