I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
