im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
