Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize