My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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